Can I go home yet?

Is it a bad sign that it's only 10:54 and I'm already bored. And annoyed. Same shit, different day...as they say. I tried to start watching Nip/Tuck but I can't stomach it...last night a character tried to perform a rhinoplasty on himself. Craziness. I realized it's not for me by the fact that I had my eyes closed for half the episode...so what's the point. Am I really that hard up to watch TV that I'm willing to watch something that makes me want to vomit? I'm not going to answer that.
I had to take houseguest to the airport at 630 this morning...I felt like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is trying to get the guy out of her apt so he won't miss his plane. If you've seen it, you might be laughing. As a person who usually wakes up at the last minute possible and is still a few minutes late to work (funny, since I'm anal about being on time for anything else) being up that early hasn't happened since a) I was 6 and woke up to watch cartoons before school or b) I was still up from the night before. I love it when people yell at me for things that have nothing to do with me. Just a side note.
Reagan

Love, like in the movies

Have you ever had one of those days where you think no one will ever love you in that love story kind of way? Woe is me, right? But I was chatting with Sarah about the last time we went on a date. Not together, with other people. Last date for me- October. Freakin' October. And because I have this fear of getting in a relationship unless the person lives up to all these expectations, I turned him down for a second date. I'm so lame. Instead I'm destined to wander the earth alone whining about how no boys like me. I just want someone to find some of the annoying stuff I do endearing. Like in the movies...he'll say to me (in the climax monologue of the movie):
Him: I love it that you always have to be on time (and one time even showed up for a birthday party a week early- 7th grade). I love how your apartment can be trashed, but if a picture frame is crooked, you have to straighten it (OCD). I love that you iron your jeans (I'm alone in this behavior and quite aware of it). I love that bite your nails when you're nervous or just bored (a habit I can't quite grow out of). I love that you cry when you fight because it's too intense (crying does not mean the other person will let you win- you just seem more pathetic).
Okay, those are a few examples. Believe you me, there are many more. I'm sure readers out there are listing many others either in their heads or on paper if they feel like being cruel. The only way to fight the sadness that is being lonely is with bitterness. I'm really good at this. I think I could go pro.
Reagan :(
On a brighter note....I'm really not lonely. That's such a sad word. I just want someone to make out with.

Trouble in paradise

Word on the street (by street I mean Good Day Live and an anonymous source) is that Mary Kate isn't at an anorexic treatment center, but rather at a rehab facility to treat her COKE ADDICTION! Shocking, scandalous...true? I don't know, but I like the idea that it could be. Doing coke is a great way to shed those unwanted pounds...Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a whole lot of blow. Ha ha, I made myself laugh with my little sayings. They're not even funny now that I reread them. Nevertheless, I hope for a speedy recovery for there is no "Olsen Twins" with just one. Maybe this was all part of their master plan to separate from each other...there's the good one (Ashley) and the crack whore (Mary Kate). That was mean, I apologize MK. Last night I finally told houseguest what I thought of her...this all came to pass when I realized she had eaten every one of my granola bars. 10 of them. This may seem petty, but it was the last straw...I first paced outside while quickly inhaling a cigarette and talking to my roomie on the phone (who, being so sick of houseguest, had refused to come home). I marched inside not so subtly showing my anger my whisking the beads leading to our hallway with avid determination...then went to my room and semi-slammed my door (it was actually the result of my window being open and the wind pushing it shut, but was appropriate for the situation). After a moment, I hear the tiniest "must proceed with caution" knock...houseguest is wondering if I'm mad at her. So then the shit hit the fan and I listed off every way in which she has pissed us off. I ended with the affirmation "you are never welcome to stay with us ever again." ***I left off a lot that happened in the middle, but don't feel like rehashing the entire event. These are just the broad strokes*** Continuing...So as of Wednesday, no more houseguest. My life can go back to normal (or at least to how it was before). Victory has never tasted so sweet.
Reags

That's a nice bike you have- wanna dance?

I've caved in and started dieting. No, I'm not giving up carbs. I would never, I loves my pasta way too much. And my bread. And my waffles...and chips...etc. I just decided it's time stop eating as if I'm eating for two. Let's ignore the fact that in my previous post I admitted to eating almost half a pizza (minus 1 slice...we all know what happened with that). This was a minor slip up induced by a hangover. Other than that, my new motto remains: "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". I love it- makes me laugh. Because who truly believes this? I don't- I mean, have you ever had BBQ Chicken pizza? Anyway, I'm tired of talking about this. And I'm sure you're tired of reading about my lame diet. If you're still with me, let's take a trip down memory lane. As I was driving back from lunch, I started thinking about the scene from Rad where Cru and Lori Loughlin dance on bikes to "Send me an Angel". Man I loved that movie. I remember how much I wanted to be able to do tricks with my bike, but I could barely use my peg stands. Then when I went to the bike track I couldn't even start at the top of the hill, I started at the bottom with my Dad holding onto the back of my bike as I summoned up all my courage to take the 3 feet plunge down to flat ground. I was never meant to be a BMX'er. Side note, I am so hard up for Franz Ferdinand right now. Love them. After all the hype, I finally bought the CD. I'm not afraid of being behind the times.
Reagan

My weekend in a paragraph

So...for the first time in quite a while, I actually "went out" this weekend, and not just to the beach or to a movie. I saw Farenheit 9/11 on Friday...see it for yourself. Don't feel like going into it. Went to Saddle Ranch afterwards where my friend rode the bull. Maybe I'm alone, but this activity is not very entertaining to me. A bunch of girls showing off their ass cleavage only to be thrown off a few seconds later. Sat went to Birds then to a make-shift after party where we played beer pong til the wee hours of the morning. I felt like I was back in college and I liked it. Though I had one hell of a hangover on Sunday, the most movement I did was moving from my bed where I napped most of the day to the couch where I watched TV in a semi-conscious state. Only thing that would have made it better is if houseguest had not been there so I could have stretched my little legs all the way out rather than lying in a border line fetal position. I ate half a pizza, but it still pissed me off when houseguest ate my last piece. As I glared at her while she ate it, I screamed in my head "That's my sausage piece, you had the pepperoni....why god why!!!!" On that note...I actually have work to do. More later.
Reagan

:) and other stuff

I am such a procrastinator. I so need to get my oil changed, have been planning to do it all week, yet keep saying "I'll do it tomorrow". Same with diets...it's always "diet starts tomorrow" as I'm stuffing my face with half a pizza. Yeah, so no oil change today, instead going with my co-workers to target, we all got gift cards from a client yesterday. It's thrilling. Somehow saying "it's thrilling" without an exclamation mark just doesn't give the same effect as "it's thrilling!". Side note, sorry. I feel like I only use exclamation marks b/c I feel that I'm supposed to...same with the smiley face. You know- :) I def. overuse it b/c while I'm sitting at work, bored, talking to Sarah online, often repeating the exact conversation we had the day before...and then I add :) Doesn't necessarily mean I'm smiling, just means I have run out of stuff to say. It's an easy response to what someone has written you- instead of commenting, just reply :) This blog is basically a way for me to pass time at work, if you haven't caught on. I watched the Simple Life 2 last night...I hate it and love it at the same time. My friend Ved said the best quote ever about Paris Hilton- "I want to hate-fuck her"...and now I use that as much as possible. Overuse it some would say. Now that I think about it, maybe she said that about Hillary Duff...either way, made me laugh.
Reagan

Say you, say me

I can not be trusted. When it comes to keeping plans. I always back out, but if someone does it to me, I could bitch about it for days. My friend Sarah asked me to meet her at a bar tonight. And at this point I honestly want to go. But knowing me, I'll get tired around 9 and back out. I have no energy, none. When I get tired, my eyes lose focus and I feel like my head is going to drop off my body. And this happens almost on a daily basis. Maybe I have some rare disease that my general practioner doctor has been unable to detect. I have always had the fear that I'm slowly dying and I don't know it...but not in the way that we're all dying. Something is slowly killing me but I'm too unaware to have it checked out. Hypochondriac or just weird? As I said to Sarah (referring to beginning of post) you can't motivate the unmotivated. Wow Reagan, you're wisdom astounds us all. I want to come up with a saying. My friend Theresa came up with the idea of writing a "warm" check...where technically it's hot but you're putting money in the bank the next day...thus making it warm. I thought this was clever and according to her this saying would "spread like wildfire". But I have nothing to offer...no "don't worry be happy", no "kill two birds with one stone" etc. How else will I be immortalized?
Reagan

Nighties

Ashley and I were talking last night about scenes in movies where the woman says "let me slip into something more comfortable" and then comes out in lingerie. We thought it would be funny if instead she came out wearing our version of comfortable- pajama pants and a t-shirt, most likely stained or with holes or both. It's not as sexy, but a whole lot funnier. I wonder if women still wear business shirts to bed. My mom is obsessed with buying me pajamas, ignoring the fact that I always sleep in an old t-shirt. I used to sleep in the buff as a child and I was always afraid Santa would see me naked. Wow, that's f'ed up. I was also afraid of there being a fire and having to run outside naked. I could have solved this problem by PUTTING ON SOME DAMN CLOTHES! But no, I was a free spirit. Things have changed since then- now I only strip to shower. And on the weekends.
Reagan

Misty water colored memories

I was going through some boxes of my old stuff and decided to let you know what I found:
1. A pair of bell bottoms that I had painted for the 8th grade hippie dance. First of all, I didn't have bell bottoms, so my mom made them. I used puff paint to draw flowers and peace signs and other "hippie" symbols. The funniest thing is I wrote the word "Weed" under the ass part, and I remember, I didn't want it to be too visible, but I thought it was cool. Now I know that people were probably laughing at me. I would have laughed at me. Needless to say, I danced alone that night.
2. I found an old diary from when I was around 14. I've read this out loud to friends before because it is great comedic writing, though at the time I don't think that's what I was going for. I just read the first page, but I talked about how I hung out with my cousin on New Years Eve playing video games until 3 in the morning. According to me, this was "awesome". Little did I know it would all go down hill from there.
3. Apparantly, back in 94 and 95 (once again, 14ish) I saved all my returned homework in a cardboard filing thing. I have no idea why I did this.
4. I found an old scrapbook I started back in 91. On the first page is a picture of Fred Savage I tore out from what looks like the TV Guide. Beside it I wrote: "This is Fred Savage. He is on the Wonder Years. I am truly in love with him." So I have been in love! The rest of the book had ribbons from football games, our team was the Gilmer Buckeyes. Our mascot was a nut- not very intimidating. Nothing like the Pirate from my High School years...aarrr!
5. Misc other crap- a pair of Swiss clogs I used to have as a decoration and I one time made my younger neighbor wear around. All the "break a leg" cards I got for my starring role in Oklahoma (both a blessing and a curse- after that I was typecast as the old lady in all the school productions). I found a t-shirt I bought in London in the 8th grade that was too big for me now and said "London" in big silver letters (I think it was the cheapest one I could find).
So that's my life in a box. I think I stopped saving most stuff after the age of 15. From 18-now I only have a small box of stuff, and most of it is old concert stubs. All star for most embarrassing: Britney Spears (yes, it's true) and Limp Bizkit (Fred called all the ladies up on stage during "Faith"...I didn't go). All I can say is "Why?"
Reagan

Oops...you [may do] it again

Please, ignore the title. I couldn't help myself. I just typed a long post and it wouldn't publish. Oh well, it sucked anyway. So rumor is Britney Spears is ready to walk down the aisle with her dancer beau. Britney, if you're listening, I think this is a bad idea. I know you think he's cute and all...and you really like his dance moves, but didn't you just get married not that long ago? Maybe you should wait for the ink to dry on your annullment papers. You are a papparazzo's wet dream.
xoxo,
Reagan

Dear Miss Pretty:

That would be the name of my advice column. If I had one. I stole it from an episode of "Just Shoot Me"...it was David Spade's alias. Yeah...I'm always giving out what I deem to be good advice- mainly because of my practical approach and distaste for bullsh*t. Like many people, I can dish it out, but never take it. So I started thinking, what would I say to someone who came to me with a problem involving a houseguest they want out. Because if someone came to me with this problem, I bet I would really have something helpful to say. But the person is me, and I can't help myself. Emily's advice is "just stay busy this week and she'll be gone soon enough". Sounds like a plan, probably the same thing I'd say to someone else. Now I just need to heed her advice and stop obsessing. But that's what I do best. My apartment is no longer mine, it's been taken over. I can't wait until next Wednesday.
Reagan
"Pissed off in California"

Deep in the heart of Texas

I hate coming back to work after a vacation. I feel so lost. I almost had a heart attack when I saw all the papers strewn across my desk (anal retentive neat freak). I took a few deep breaths and got to work restoring my desk to it's original condition, with the stapler and whole puncher positioned at right angles and everthing filed in it's respective folder. If anyone is wondering "Did Reagan have a good time in Austin" then the answer is "Yes I did, thank you for asking." Because I'm not a phone person, I only told one person I was coming in town and hoped they would just spread the word, like a game of telephone, though I hope it would change from "Reagan's coming to town" to "Reagan's preganant with Usher's baby". Don't know why I used Usher, that's kind of weird. Anyway, so Austin. I hung out with my gal Emily majority of the time. We saw a midnight screening of "Dodgeball" at midnight on Thursday, with an actualy game of dodgeball beforehand. I didn't particpate because I'm about as athletic as a....don't know how to finish that, let's just say I'm weak. However, it was hilarious watching others play- everyone was so serious, as if there was money or a trophy at stake, not just lame bragging rights. My dad did note that he was dodgeball champion back in the day, maybe I should have given it the old college try, seeing as how the talent for chunking balls at people's heads runs in the family. The movie was hilarious, I laughed the entire time. Favorite line: "You're about as useless as a poo flavored lollipop." I keep repeating this line, because it's still making me laugh. What can I say, I'm terribly immature. I had forgotten how hot it is in Texas- the humidity, the mosquitos, the constant sweating. I was ready to come back to LA where the only thing that bites is the people. Ba dum dum (drum for comedic effect, if you didn't get that). One time someone said to me if you have to explain a joke, then it's not funny. Story of my life.
Until next time...this is Reagan, signing off.

Boys suck because they don't get Emily's awesomeness

Emily, you're the coolest. I want to be you. I want to dress like, talk like you, dance like you (that's a maybe, I don't remember any of your moves), and just inherit all of the coolness that is you. Boys don't get this for many reasons:
1. They realize that they will never be as funny/smart/rad as you.
2. They don't want to be the "ugly" one in the couple.
3. They want to f*ck you gently, but are afraid you won't call the next day.
4. They know that it will take a lot to satisfy a life force like yourself- this scares them.
5. They know that there is someone better out there for you so you should just wait until that person comes along.
There are many more reasons, but honestly, who has the time to write out every single one. You know I don't, must get back to work (or back to staring at the wall). Next time a boy makes you doubt your awesomeness...read this. Take it in. Memorize it. Live by it.
Peace,
Reagan

Let's talk about me

I've never been in love before, which is a little ridiculous since I'm almost 25 years old. I've thought I was, but I don't think it counts if you're not even dating the person. When I tell my friends this, the ones who have been there, they always say "no, you don't, love is hell." And what do I say to this- bring. it. on. I want love and all the shit that comes with it. Give me tears, give me fights, give me...well, whatever else there is. Why does this all sound so exciting to me? I just don't think the highs are ever as good without the lows. How can you feel joy if you don't know pain? Nothing can be perfect... I want the passion that comes with those fights, I want to care so much it drives me crazy. I worry that I will go through my whole life never knowing this feeling. I know, I know...I'm young. But what if I'm still wanting for this when I'm 30? 40? 90??? Okay, probably not 90, I would have given up by then. Or I'll be dead. And who will put flowers at my grave?
Reagan...aka "the lonely"

I can't end it like that. You never find what you're looking for. So I'm not looking. Now it can sneak up on me. My back is turned. My eyes are closed. Maybe it will tap me on my left shoulder when it is actually on my right. I've fallen for that trick before.

I, Reagan

I read this article about blogs in Time and it was talking about how they've become an important forum for cultural, political, etc. discussion. And how there are all these people becoming celebrities because of their blogs. And now some blogs are even being supported by advertisers. And I just wanted something to do while I was bored at work. I know I've touched some lives out there (last time...emily, katie). But I can't have you girls relying on me as a "role model". I'm not perfect, despite what many people might say. I'm only human, not a "goddess" or "angel", words that are often tossed around when my name is mentioned. As for the advertisers, well, let's just say that you guys won't have to worry about my blog being tainted by corporate panhandling (mainly because no one's asking). In summation, I will continue to talk about the most unimportant topics pulled from either my daily life or random memories from my childhood. For those of you waiting on bated breath for a follow up to the large underwear story, keep tuning in.
yours truly,
reagan

I'm no Superman

I cannot wait for Garden State to open and then everyone can know the wonder that is Zach Braff. I've had a thing for the guy since "Broken Hearts Club"...I hoped that he was a good actor and not actually gay, though my chances would probably be the same either way. Then I met him one night at the Hotel Cafe, not in a friendly manner, but with the fine line of fan-admired dividing us. I felt a connection- did you feel it to Zach? Maybe a little, when I said, "I love you on Scrubs". It's so original, so clever, how could you not fall in love with me? I await your big screen magnificance. I'm not really crazy (but isn't that what they all say?)
anonymous fan

Maybe...but most likely not

I hate when you ask someone to do something and they say "maybe" in this way that implies that they are just not interested. What is the big deal with saying "no"? I remember one time a friend invited me to do something and I said, "Doesn't sound like fun...I'm not in" or something like that. It was as if I called her grandmother a whore-saying no is apparantly unacceptable. We live by these ridiculous terms of politeness where the socially acceptable thing to do is pretend you're going to go somewhere with someone and then back out at the last minute. My technique is not answering the phone, and then making up some excuse later. I need that extra day to come up with something really believable, such as "I was sick" or "I didn't hear the phone ring." Then I can always wait until I get to work on Monday and send my excuse via email. Yes, I like to avoid confrontation. And now that I've removed all the smoke and mirrors, everyone will know what a shithead I can truly be. But who hasn't done this? I know I'm not alone, and I'm sure others out there have much more clever maneuvers than myself. What I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't have to deal with this crap if I could just say "no" in the first place. Lesson learned. Everyone live by my code of human interaction.

OMG

I use IM a lot, because I often find myself bored to tears at work. But I'm still learning what so many of these "codes" mean. It took me a while to figure out "lol" meant "laugh out loud"- not "lots of love". I wondered why these people I barely knew were expressing such sentiments. When my brother IM's me, I can barely tell what he is saying and I wonder why he feels the need to use so many shortcuts. He's not in a hurry. Why rush things...type out "talk to you later" rather than "ttyl"...does it save that much time? Of course, I often have the inabiltity to spell things out like the college graduate I am...example: a sentence such as "what are you doing" will come out reading "whard yug arjls". Thus confusing the recipient and making me look like I'm typing while intoxicated. I also like that I shorten "ok" to just "k". Because if I were even to think about typing that "o" it would set me back light years in terms of productivity. I cannot risk this. I shouldn't knock it- I often wonder what people did at work to entertain themselves in the old days (you know, the early-mid 90's) Maybe I would read more if I had no one to talk/type to. And maybe I would be better off.
reagan

I can predict the future

Coco. That's what David and Courtney decided to name their new bebe. Take that Apple! Sounds like the name of a monkey...in fact, wasn't the first talking monkey named Coco? I really think so. Enough with this, I'm leaving for Austin in 2 days and cannot wait. I needs my break. Last night, I became addicted to Bravo. Officially, I already said that I love the celebrity poker, but after watching a marathon of Showbiz Moms & Dads then an ep. of Blow Out, I'm hooked. I suggest anyone reading this (again, hi Emily, hi Katie) check out this fine programming. It's like cocaine for the mind. I have a friend staying with me and instead of doing fun stuff (i.e. leaving the house) I just sat on the couch with my eyes glazed over all night. Yeah, living it up in So Cal. And I might just do the same thing tonight, but mix it up with a little laundry action. I need clean underwear. One time I was so lazy that instead of washing my clothes, I bought new underwear at Walgreens. The only size they had was gigantic, so now I have 3 pairs of the biggest cotton panties even invented. That's right fellas, close your eyes and you can see it. It's sublime. I just laughed out loud to my own story. I'm lame. But who out there didn't already know that?
Reagie

I've always wanted to be an Olsen Twin

Well, the Olsen twins are now officially legal, thus taking away some of the charm that is statutory rape. They are so rich I actually experience physical pain thinking about it. I wonder if they had a Hilton style celebration- a 4 city birthday tour. Does this mean more drunken pics of the gruesome twosome are going to surface? If I was their friend, I would sell pictures of them to all the major magazines and then be like "no Mary Kate, I don't know how they got that picture of you and Ashley making out." I'd play it so coy. Then I'd buy shoes with the money. And candy.
R.

Baby names for the rich and famous

Courtney Cox-Arquette had her baby. They haven't released the name, but I'm sure it will be weird. That's usually the way it goes with celeb kiddies (Audio Science anyone?) I used to read imdb news everyday...now I basically scan it and only actually read very few of the postings. These are the things I don't even bother with:
1. J. Lo
2. Courtney Love
3. Micheal Jackson
And you're almost guaranteed to see one of those people on there every day. For example, today is a story about how Courtney Love assaulted a woman with a beer bottle. I am shocked. That doesn't sound like Ms. Love at all. Why she is a refined woman of old fashioned values who is more likely to pet a kitten rather than hurt another human being. At what point do they just post "Courtney Love f*cked up again". That I would read- short, sweet, and to the point. Same with J. Lo. I can get all the info I need from the headings. "Is J. Lo pregnant?" I don't know- is she? I can ponder this on my own, I don't need expert opinions for me to figure this one out. And all this stuff about Micheal Jackson. C'mon people...he's so guilty. Stop sending your kids to his house. Yeah, so we need more celebrities to gossip about. Anything at all...I'll even take a story about carrot top over these three media whores (well, j. lo's really the only media whore, the other two are just media whores by criminal association)
Reags

Longest. Day. Ever.

I'm having one of those days where everything is pissing me off. The sound of the phone ringing has been like nails down a chalk board to me. And I have lost the ability to smile. What if I never get it back? What if I am unable to show any expression for the rest of my life? Oh man, I hope I get over this. I just took a 20 min nap during lunch while watching The Cosby Show, and now I feel like I'm going to drag ass for the rest of the day. Less than 4 hours. Oh, the thought of that much longer pains me. I will talk about something else. My weekend. Friday night- chinese food and watched Monster. Saturday- went to Hermosa Beach, played a little frisbee and paddle ball (two pseudo-sports I can add to my list of "things I suck at"). And Saturday night, the ultimate flashback- girls slumber party. The plan was to watch girly movies (Girls just want to have fun, Clueless...you know the type), do faces masks, read beauty mags, eat pizza, etc. In reality, we ate pizza and got smashed. Very different from the slumber parties I went to when I was 12. So...woke up feeling like ass on Sunday and laid around my apartment all day. I watched Celebrity Poker (which I'm addicted to) and a little of the movie "Heavyweights" about these kids at fat camp. Then there was my raison d'etre...Six Feet Under. Man, how I've missed the whole gang- Nate, Claire, David, Brenda, etc. And how excited am I about Justin Theroux being on the show? The answer is very excited. I was glad to see Russell again, mainly b/c of how much I fancy Ben Foster as an actor. The previews for next week showed Mena Suvari and I'm really hoping they don't make Claire a lesi. Yeah, so...that's my weekend. Obviously nothiing to thrilling. Sorry for wasting your time.
reagan

Why are some people so wonderful?

Ben Lee....he played on Carson last night (I didn't see it, but Derrick taped it- a*hole better not erase it- I love you D!) Okay, he played two new songs "Gamble everything on love" and "Right Angles"...two wonderful, amazing songs! I finished pseudo-stalking him while he was in LA. I hope to pick up where I left off when he returns in the future.

Hallmark has nothing on me

today's is my ex-roommate's birthday and we're celebrating by going to none other than....drum roll please....chili's bar and grill. no, we're not in middle america (where i grew up chili's was it, except for applebee's across the street), but rather LA where there are plenty of other options of where to dine out. what can i say, the boy loves his chili's. i made him a card, as if i were 8 again (get the reference, ems?) and for my current roommate's birthday, i made her a card as well. because what says i love you more than some magazine pictures pasted haphazardly onto a piece of computer paper. i don't even have markers, so i used my one and only highlighter...a pretty pink. ashley seemed to like hers, she even put it on top of the tv with the "real" cards. my, how i've changed. i used to be all about the e-cards, the free ones, b/c i'm a cheap bastard. "it's the thought that counts" is what i'm all about. hey, you should be lucky if i even remember your birthday, so here's your homemade card, take it and like it.

Is J. Lo preggers?

This is the question of the moment. I love it- did miss glamourous actress/singer/perfume proprietor actually have a shotgun wedding? I like to think that she did. And in less than 9 months she'll squeeze one out and do the whole "my life didn't mean anything until I became a mother" routine until a few weeks later when she passes the thing off to a nanny. I wonder what she'll name it...it has to begin with a letter that goes well with Lo...like T. Lo...or K. Lo. Just some suggestions.

Hold on for one more day

Wilson Phillips is coming out with a new record of cover songs, so to commemorate this event, I started thinking about the early 90's. I used to go back b/w Wendy or Chynna being my favorite band member...sorry Carnie, I was a shallow pre-teen. I wouldn't doubt if there were several times that I sang "Hold on" or "Release me" with my eyes closed and my fist clinched tightly- really "feeling" the music. I was also a "Fine Young Cannibals" fan, but I think this was my mothers doing (I think it was her CD). Should I be ashamed? Were they cool (by standards of the time)? I remember one time at a pizza party at Mr. Gatti's or something like that, I kept putting quarter after quarter into the jukebox to hear "Red Red Wine"....but wait, that was UB40...I'm getting my bands mixed up. The thing was f*ed up, so I never got to hear the song. Moving on...my brother and I used to rock out to Twisted Sister's "We're not gonna take it"- I was one rebellious 10 yr old in my neon pink lycra onesie. Then my mother confiscated it. And the defiance was over, back to Guns n' Roses. Paradise City...loved it. I wanted to go there. For me, that city was Shreveport, Louisiana- they had a water park. Not even a good one- all they had was one big slide and a wave pool. It was the crack addict version of a water park. Damn you Mom and Dad- why couldn't we just go to Dallas!
Reagan

What would Jesus eat?

I can't wait for the bracelets! Another new diet craze, to purify your insides....and your soul. They cleverly named it the "Hallelujah Diet". I want to go on this diet just so I can use that phrase in conversation. Here's how it might go:
Other person: "I really need to lose some weight, but I've tried everything. What's your secret?"
Me: "Why, I'm on the Hallelujah Diet."
Other person: "Never heard of it...is it a version of Atkins?"
Me: "Not at all, it consists of following God's perfect boundaries of hunger and fullness."
Other person: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Me: "The Lord gave us everything we need in the Garden of Eden...fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds"
Other person: "Fuck that, I'm doing South Beach."
That's just an example. The conversation would heavily depend on who the other person is. I was reading an article about how all the stars maintain their weight. One secret...shhh, don't tell anyone- laxatives. How very glamourous. The whole obsession over weight baffles me. I prefer to eat like a pig, not exercise, and then complain that I can't seem to lose weight.
R.

Jake Gyllenhottie

Thanks Emily for this creative if not too obvious twist on his name. I've become even more obsessed with him him lately, especially since he's on all the magazine covers. GQ, EW- consider this my thanks. I want to frame him. Literally, I want to put him in a glass case and hang him on my wall. I know that we will never be, b/c honestly, how many people end up dating their stalker. I think it happened on "Friends" once, but c'mon people, that's television, not reality. Though in my dreams, we meet, I saw "Hi" he says "I love you" and we take it from there.
Sincerely yours,
(warning: I cannot stop myself from writing the following thing)
Reagan Gyllenhaal
(If it's in writing, it must be true!)

this one's for you, my ladies ems and sarah

so many of my friends put themselves through so much sh*t for guys...i'm wondering, what is this power they have? i think it may be magic, but not good magic like harry potter, more like black magic. the bad kind. i freak out the moment i like a guy b/c i automatically go into "they don't like me, i'm ugly" mode. it's not a good place to be. so maybe, after all this time of thinking it's them, maybe it's me. am i a self-fulfilling prophecy? i think in my perfect world, everyone would fall in love with my (at times) witty sense of humor and appreciate the fact that i don't practically bone them just to show i'm interested. i like to play it subtle, but even when i do lay it on thick, it's still just me joking around. can someone out there teach me to bat my eyes? what exactly are "hot pants" and where can i get some? i basically have one move, touching the other person affectionately. i learned in from television. i laugh at some joke, maybe put my hand on his shoulder as to say "oh [insert name here], you're so funny, i like you a lot." what i'm actually thinking is "do me now." but that's not as appropriate. and the light touching of the shoulder does not convey that. that's what humping the leg is for (a move i tried on my old roommate, but he just laughed). anyway, i digress...men are evil. but i can't say that without saying the same thing about women. forget stereotypes, but we can really be whiny little bitches. i mean, has anyone read "the rules"? i haven't, so i shouldn't have even brought it up, but i did read something about a rule that the guy must call by wednesday to accept a saturday date. ridiculous. i say, call before 7, and i'm ready to go at 9. is that too desperate? should i be playing hard to get? man, this stuff is all too complicated. and now i must get back to work...i hate mondays.
reagan
"never make anyone a priority who only considers you an option"

Friendster- you suck!

dear friendster,
it's over.
i remember when you were all the rage- instead of exchanging phone numbers or emails, it was "look me up on friendster"...which is almost as cool (or lame, depending on your perspective) as "i'm in the book" (something i will still say at one point). but now you've stopped delivering my messages. you tease me by emailing to say that i've got a new message, but then when i get to my inbox, there's nothing there. why are you so cruel? i should have listened to micheal and moved to myspace. yeah, that's right, i said it.
i don't know, maybe we can work this out. i keep coming back for more...i have to read the bulletin board to find out everyones top 5 albums they're listening to right now or the 5th sentence on page 23 of the book they're reading. these things i cannot live without. especially when i'm at work. and bored out of my ever loving mind. as i am right now. i refuse to abandon my 57 first degree friends, or my 1,892 second degree friends...or even my 61,809 third degree friends. they wouldn't do that to me and i'm sure as hell not going to do that to them.
someday i'll make it official and post a real picture of myself. you just have to show me that you're willing to work as hard at this relationship as i am. i think i've said enough.
your friend,
reagan

3 hours and counting

As I was creating my profile, I realized that despite the many books I know I've read in my life, I could only come up with four that are my favorites. And that's not just my favorites, but only four I could remember reading. There was of course the whole Babysitter's Club series during my pre-teen years...I remember I used to wish that Ann M. Martin would die (pretty morbid for a 10 yr old) just so I could finish the last book and say, "that's it, I read them all." But no, she just kept churning out new stories for Kristi and the gang. So I just stopped reading around book 50. I couldn't take it anymore. No more Staci, no more Mary Anne. I will always remember this line from the book, after Dawn fell down (don't remember why) but one of the kids said, "Have a nice TRIP, see you next FALL!" I thought it was hilarious. Now I realize- not so funny.
Later,
Reagan a.k.a. "unofficial member of the Babysitter's Club"

My first blog

This is it, time to be interesting. I mean, am I supposed to funny in these things? Or deep? I don't know the rules people, this is new to me. I guess I'll just write some crap. Basically, I'm at work, I'm bored, and I have no one to talk to. So I'll talk to myself, in a diary, online...for 10's of people to see. Last night was my roommate Ashley's birthday, we went to dinner at a restuarant in Silverlake called Cha Cha Cha's. Don't really have much to say, the food was spicy, I was tired, and I was being entertained by a hodge podge of friends, good acquaintances, and Ashley's co-workers. Anyway...this is the worst blog ever, so I'll just get it out of the way and hope I have more to say later.
Peace out,
Reags